Commentators have also used it to describe the mind-bending denials of reality coming out of the White House during the Trump presidency. Partly this is a result of the success of the #MeToo movement, which illuminated how victims of sexual violence and harassment are systemically doubted and discredited when they go public. Over the past decade the term has become astronomically popular. In it, the protagonist’s husband secretly dims and brightens the gas-powered indoor lights and insists she is imagining it, making her believe she is insane. Richie refers to as a “hostile social environment.” The word itself comes from a 1930s play called Gas Light that was turned into a 1944 film starring Ingrid Bergman. The result is what sociologist Kathleen Ferraro has called the “surreality” of abusive relationships or what scholar and activist Beth E. It functions in part by convincing victims that what they are experiencing is not real or important and then blames them for their experience. We know that psychological abuse, and “crazy making” in particular, is a core feature of domestic, or intimate partner, violence. Gaslighting is broadly defined as a type of psychological abuse that makes someone seem or feel “crazy.” It resembles other forms of psychological abuse and can be thought of as a subset of this larger category.
Chandra questioned her perception of reality, her memory and her ability to interpret events. These vulnerabilities made her less able to resist her husband’s manipulations, and she became psychologically exhausted and entrapped. She was experiencing financial stress as well as a lack of support around balancing child care with her jobs. Chandra was socially isolated from her friends and family. Over time the way Chandra’s ex-husband called her “crazy” and accused her of “overreacting” made her doubt herself as a reliable witness to her own experiences.īut this effect was not produced in a vacuum.
Her experiences are typical of the stories I’ve collected about gaslighting over the past few years. During an hour-long Zoom interview as part of my research, Chandra repeatedly described her ex-husband as a gaslighter.Īfter ending the call with Chandra (a pseudonym to protect her privacy and safety), I jotted down notes: confusion, unequal caregiving responsibilities, shame, credibility loss, gender-based insults, verbal abuse. He would, for instance, intentionally delay paying bills and then blame her when the lights were shut off-a strategy of financial control that made her feel dependent on him. Chandra worked, went to school and provided all of the care for their children, yet her husband convinced her that she needed him. He often used the word “irrational,” historically a term used to demean women. During her 12-year marriage, “Chandra” says, her husband routinely cheated and then told her she was “crazy,” “jealous” and “paranoid” when she produced evidence of his affairs.
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